Erbao is officially over one-year-old, and we’ve yet to figure out a good sleep arrangement. I’m desperately tired, being woken up several times during the night by wails. I don’t know what to think, really, since Erbao’s crib is literally two steps away from my bed and I already give him tons of attention during the day.
Even though I know Erbao is a different kid from Baobao, my parenting reference point still takes me back to Baobao’s journey to sleep independently. Baobao spent her first days in an heirloom cradle that was so wobbly I moved her out of it as soon as I found an excuse. Then Baobao was in a spacious wooden crib where she hit her face bloody from holding the railing while hopping on the mattress.
I can’t stress how absolutely horrified I was about the cradle and the crib, but I used them out of respect because they were gifts from the mother-in-law.
What ended up working for both Baobao and me was a sleep tent on the floor, providing freedom of movement for Baobao to get in and out of her sleep area and peace of mind for me knowing my baby girl will not fall or hit her body on a hard piece of furniture.
Fast forward to Erbao, who was put in the crib and seemed OK initially except that his feet would get caught in the railing. He also developed the habit of pulling himself up to a standing position when he woke up in the middle of the night. Unlike Baobao, Erbao never quite learned to self sooth with his blanket. Instead, Erbao and I fell back on crying and nursing.
The circumstances of sleep arrangement for the children were quite different considering J was in the same room with Baobao and me because he worked from home and then J moved to another room when he changed job that required significant time for commute. I was alone with Erbao from day one, responding to every whimper and wail, feeling lousy most days from sleep deprivation.
At his 12 month check up, I speculated the many reasons of Erbao’s night wakings (teething, early walker, hunger/thirst, no one else to turn to except for mommy at night) and the doctor kindly suggested moving Erbao to his own room. And that’s what we are doing, letting Erbao sleep alone in Baobao’s room while Baobao sleeps in the master with me. It’s the third night of the new sleep arrangement and I miss being in the same room as Erbao listening to his breathing.
Separation anxiety is a bitch.